Donations

Sometimes really don't know to laugh or cry when there are random people come up to you and ask for donation and if you refuse them they kind of give you the look as if you have no heart nor empathy.

Today I was having tea with Keith and his sis. Someone came up and ask for donation so Keith signed the paper to donate but he had no small change so he asked his sis for the money first. I think that guy mistaken Keith and his sis were husband and wife and I was their friend or something. So he asked me to donate too and I shook my head. The guy tried to pestered me and then Keith said "it's ok, we donate together' to the guy. Then the guy gave me the 'stare' while thanking Keith and his sis very fervently.

The truth is me and Keith always make donations randomly every now and then. So when those people give me weird stare sometimes I really feel like telling them how much or where I have donated so please don't think ill of me. But then again, why does it matter, right? We don't have to make announcement and tell the whole world each time we make a donation coz no one really cares.

As long we have a clear conscience and we know we have do our part giving back to the society then it is good enough. If we have to donate to every home we will not have money left for ourselves. :/

Are You OK?

We know many relatives and friends do feel a little awkward when they bump into us. Not because we have done something bad to each other nor we have something against each other, but simply because after what Keith & I have been through you sort of caught in a dilemma on what to say to us.

You see if you go on talking to us about anything else and purposely avoid talking about Cassandra, some of you may feel that you are being uncaring for not bother to ask how are we. But then for those of you who do ask, 'How are you?' or 'Are you OK?', I can tell you none of you are prepared for the truth. If we do reply, 'No, we are not OK.', it will put you in a painfully awkward position as you will be loss on how to response or react to us. So far most relatives and friends chose not to bring up the topic.

To make it easy for everyone please allow me to tell you this, we are Not OK. The fact is, we will Never be OK. But Life Must Go On and we know that, so we've accepted the fact and doing our very best to live our lives as normal. We were prepared to be parents and to nurse our child but now we are just back to being a couple (but we are still a dad and a mom even though we don't have a living child to care for).

Hence, a simple question like 'Are you OK?' has become a difficult one for us to answer because if we tell you we are OK, that is not really the truth, but then we can't really say we are not OK either as we are moving on with lives. We are still the same but many things changed in us. It's really complicated.

Celebrating 3 months old in Heaven

4th of Sep, today should be your 3 months old with us but instead you are in Heaven with God and all other angels.

Daddy and mommy miss you so much! And we know that no matter how long time has passed, we will always miss you.

Daddy and mommy agreed to remember you on your birthday instead of the day you have passed but then they have a very nice term for it, it's called 'Angelversarry' so we think it doesn't sound so bad. :)

You must know that even though we are sad that you are no longer with us but daddy and mommy will live our lives well because we know you would want to see us happy. And hopefully God will bless us again with child so you will have younger brother or sister and we can tell him or her all about you next time.

You will always be the most special one in daddy and mommy's hearts. Love you forever, our Angel Baby Cassandra. :)