4th June 2015 - Happy 11th Months Old in Heaven, Baby Cassandra!
Time flies....
Thursday, June 04, 2015
Sunday, May 10, 2015
On Mother's Day
I've been dreading about today for months. I wasn't sure how to react or not react towards all the constant Mother's Day ads popping up everywhere. But I am not alone in this. There are many grieving moms and dads like Keith & I everywhere and we all have these mix feelings, or not.
A strong sense of peace came to me yesterday after reading an article and I am no longer afraid to face this day. I am a Mom and no one can take that away from me. I want to embrace the celebration instead of fearing and avoiding it.
Although our lovely daughter, Cassandra is in Heaven and she was in me and with me for a brief few months but once a Mother, Forever a Mother irregardless where my child is. I (we grieving moms) deserved to be celebrated as much as any other mothers who have living children.
As a Mom I am sad for the obvious reason. :'(
But as a daughter, I am happy and blessed. Both my beloved mom and mom-in-law are still alive and healthy and I'm grateful for them and everything they have done for me. I Love You Both!
Happy Mother's Day!!!! God Bless!
Friday, May 08, 2015
Ladies Wellness
This is for the ladies. You never see me share such info but I believe this is something worth sharing.
I'm not a fan of Chinese herbs as I do not like the bitterness (no surprise) and I'm always a little skeptical towards the unknown side effects. But something my colleague recommended me recently has actually helps improve my well being.
Many of my colleagues start telling me that I look radiant and has this healthy glow. They said I've always looked pale in the past. They even ask if I use blusher as my cheeks look rosy pink these days. Honestly, I do not use blusher as my skin is always sensitive towards make ups.
Hence, I would like to give credits to this Chinese herbs I've consumed past 2 months and thought it's nice to share with you ladies.
It is very economical and you can get it from any Chinese medicine shop. I got mine from a shop in PJ and it cost RM0.70 per packet.
Although the recipe mentioned egg but I am just that lazy so I pass. I only boil the herb/leaves/grass (call it what you like) with the brown sugar.
Hope this will do good to you as it is to me.
I'm not a fan of Chinese herbs as I do not like the bitterness (no surprise) and I'm always a little skeptical towards the unknown side effects. But something my colleague recommended me recently has actually helps improve my well being.
Many of my colleagues start telling me that I look radiant and has this healthy glow. They said I've always looked pale in the past. They even ask if I use blusher as my cheeks look rosy pink these days. Honestly, I do not use blusher as my skin is always sensitive towards make ups.
Hence, I would like to give credits to this Chinese herbs I've consumed past 2 months and thought it's nice to share with you ladies.
It is very economical and you can get it from any Chinese medicine shop. I got mine from a shop in PJ and it cost RM0.70 per packet.
Although the recipe mentioned egg but I am just that lazy so I pass. I only boil the herb/leaves/grass (call it what you like) with the brown sugar.
Hope this will do good to you as it is to me.
Monday, May 04, 2015
Imagine
4th May 2015 - Happy 10th Months Old in Heaven, Baby!
You know daddy and mommy never stop missing you. We have more imaginations than memories of you but we love you all the same. Random 'how would you look like?', 'what you gonna be?', etc. do pop up from either of us from time to time.
Your 1st Birthday is coming up in 2 months time. How we hope we can celebrate it with you where we are instead of you away in heaven.
Miss you more than ever.
You know daddy and mommy never stop missing you. We have more imaginations than memories of you but we love you all the same. Random 'how would you look like?', 'what you gonna be?', etc. do pop up from either of us from time to time.
Your 1st Birthday is coming up in 2 months time. How we hope we can celebrate it with you where we are instead of you away in heaven.
Miss you more than ever.
Saturday, April 04, 2015
9th Month
4th April 2015 - Happy 9th Month Old in Heaven our baby Cassandra.
Daddy was asking what would you like if you are with us at 9th month old? Mommy told daddy you would be crawling around and start exploring things around you. :)
There's not a day we don't think about you and your cute little face and gestures when we watched you sleep would always stay in our mind.
Love You Much!!
Daddy was asking what would you like if you are with us at 9th month old? Mommy told daddy you would be crawling around and start exploring things around you. :)
There's not a day we don't think about you and your cute little face and gestures when we watched you sleep would always stay in our mind.
Love You Much!!
Thursday, April 02, 2015
Miss You Much
Dear Cassandra,
Mommy dreamt of you last night. You were looking fair and chubby. Daddy and mommy were playing with you and you were laughing so happily. I can still vaguely hear your laughter even so many hours after the dream.
Mommy shared with daddy about the dream. I was laughing and smiling while telling daddy about how you were and suddenly I heard a voice in my head saying, "but it was just a dream". Right at the moment I couldn't hold back my tears. Daddy immediately wrapped mommy in his arms and tried his best to comfort mommy. But I know daddy misses you very much too and he was also feeling sad when he was hugging mommy.
Your daddy is a great man. He is loving, kind, caring, humble, ambitious and etc. He has so much good in him. The most important thing is daddy loves and care for mommy loads. And daddy loves you much too. I am so glad we have each other and we are proud to be your parents. :)
Your daddy is a great man. He is loving, kind, caring, humble, ambitious and etc. He has so much good in him. The most important thing is daddy loves and care for mommy loads. And daddy loves you much too. I am so glad we have each other and we are proud to be your parents. :)
Will we really get to see you again like everyone said? We will never stop talking about you and we will always miss you our precious baby girl.
Love you always,
Mommy and Daddy
Wednesday, March 04, 2015
A Little Regret
4th March 2015 - Happy 8th Month Old in Heaven our baby Cassandra.
Time passes really fast. It has been exactly 8 months since I gave birth to Cassandra. There's not a day I do not think about her and there's no exception today.
A moment ago I had a flashed back on the day she passed. While holding her in my arms heartbroken I asked the nurse (or was it Keith who asked the question?) how soon do they need to transfer our baby girl to the morgue and I remember the nurse replied not more than 2 hours. I only held Cassandra for a short few minutes and soon passed her over to the med team.
A sense of regret hit me real hard today and I hope that I held her much longer that day. But I've missed the chance and she is long gone.
Life is so unfair.
Although I've accepted she is gone and move on, I still feel sad, happy, proud, loved and blessed all at the same time whenever I think of our baby. Yes, there are always mixed feelings when you think about your loss child.
8 months down the road, does the pain gets lesser? The answer is 'Yes' and 'No'. For most days I can breeze through without feeling sad when I think of Cassandra. But there are moments once in a while where the pain is so overwhelming that I find myself choking for air when I cry.
Missing you, Cassandra.
Time passes really fast. It has been exactly 8 months since I gave birth to Cassandra. There's not a day I do not think about her and there's no exception today.
A moment ago I had a flashed back on the day she passed. While holding her in my arms heartbroken I asked the nurse (or was it Keith who asked the question?) how soon do they need to transfer our baby girl to the morgue and I remember the nurse replied not more than 2 hours. I only held Cassandra for a short few minutes and soon passed her over to the med team.
A sense of regret hit me real hard today and I hope that I held her much longer that day. But I've missed the chance and she is long gone.
Life is so unfair.
Although I've accepted she is gone and move on, I still feel sad, happy, proud, loved and blessed all at the same time whenever I think of our baby. Yes, there are always mixed feelings when you think about your loss child.
8 months down the road, does the pain gets lesser? The answer is 'Yes' and 'No'. For most days I can breeze through without feeling sad when I think of Cassandra. But there are moments once in a while where the pain is so overwhelming that I find myself choking for air when I cry.
Missing you, Cassandra.
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