Basically, D has a friend called P. P has recently discovered that his daughter, A’s boyfriend, B, is having some heart problem. A & B are both 23 years old.
Now, what happened was P called D and ask for advise about how to separate A & B. P as a father who loves and cares for his daughter’s future so much does not want his daughter to get involve with someone who has what we call ‘critical illness’.
P thought of sending A off to Singapore so that she can’t be with B anymore. And D, as a good friend who was trying to think from P’s perspective comically suggested that after P sent A to Singapore, P should take away A’s hand phone so that she can no longer contact B and vice versa.
And the debate started:
Family Member 1: How can P does that? This is A & B’s life and they are 23 yrs old, should let them decide themselves. Shouldn’t encourage or give this kind of suggestion to P
D: But, this is like if you go and buy fruits, if it is not fresh or a bit spoil, you also won’t choose mah.
All family members: …..… (what kind of logic is that?!?!?! Everyone was stunned that they actually heard that from D. @@!)
Family Member 2: FYI, by taking away the hand phone will not help, these day there’s something call internet and email plus A can always buy back another phone. P shouldn’t do that lah….
D: But if you want to buy a dog and you notice that the dog something wrong sure you won’t choose the dog right?
All family members: (double stunned)
Family Member 1: Buying fruit and dog are totally different things. The fruit has no feeling and the dog has no feeling towards you (not until after you own it for a while). A & B have feeling for each other; they love each other so how can you separate them by force without thinking about their feelings?
Family Member 2: Furthermore, heart problem is treatable as long as you take proper care. You mustn’t get involve and encourage P to do that.
D: P just does not want his daughter to suffer later.
Family Member 3: We understand P’s intention but it’s his daughter’s life so let her decide herself.
Let say if last time when I dated my wife and we all know that she has some health problem, would you force me to leave her?
Family Member 2: Yap, like one of our family’s friend, she was diagnosed with cancer, went for surgery and chemotherapy and yet her then boyfriend still married her.
D: …………….. (I think D saw our point as he did not argue further)
I remember my mom used to tell me for like million times, she used to says “When you go out with a guy, find out his family health history and make sure they don’t have any illness like high blood pressure, heart attack, diabetic, blah blah blah…, if there is any don’t be with him anymore, else you’ll suffer for the rest of your life”
Sigh…..firstly, we don’t usually ask people about their family health history out of the blue, and secondly, when we fell for someone and we really care for the person, we wouldn’t just leave the person like returning faulty goods to the store. We are human, made from flesh & blood with feelings, emotions, senses and thoughts.
As the parents or siblings, I am sure everyone hopes and wants the best for their family members and it is our natural instinct to protect our loved ones. But, no matter how protective or worry the family might be, I think they should entirely leave it to the couple to decide for their own.
Some of you might say that it is easy for me to say that coz A has nothing to do with me. But, imagine if that happen to me or you? Will you be ok with the idea knowing that your family will try to separate you two even though you know they are doing it for your own good?
God give no rights to us to rob others for their happiness...
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