4th March 2015 - Happy 8th Month Old in Heaven our baby Cassandra.
Time passes really fast. It has been exactly 8 months since I gave birth to Cassandra. There's not a day I do not think about her and there's no exception today.
A moment ago I had a flashed back on the day she passed. While holding her in my arms heartbroken I asked the nurse (or was it Keith who asked the question?) how soon do they need to transfer our baby girl to the morgue and I remember the nurse replied not more than 2 hours. I only held Cassandra for a short few minutes and soon passed her over to the med team.
A sense of regret hit me real hard today and I hope that I held her much longer that day. But I've missed the chance and she is long gone.
Life is so unfair.
Although I've accepted she is gone and move on, I still feel sad, happy, proud, loved and blessed all at the same time whenever I think of our baby. Yes, there are always mixed feelings when you think about your loss child.
8 months down the road, does the pain gets lesser? The answer is 'Yes' and 'No'. For most days I can breeze through without feeling sad when I think of Cassandra. But there are moments once in a while where the pain is so overwhelming that I find myself choking for air when I cry.
Missing you, Cassandra.
Time passes really fast. It has been exactly 8 months since I gave birth to Cassandra. There's not a day I do not think about her and there's no exception today.
A moment ago I had a flashed back on the day she passed. While holding her in my arms heartbroken I asked the nurse (or was it Keith who asked the question?) how soon do they need to transfer our baby girl to the morgue and I remember the nurse replied not more than 2 hours. I only held Cassandra for a short few minutes and soon passed her over to the med team.
A sense of regret hit me real hard today and I hope that I held her much longer that day. But I've missed the chance and she is long gone.
Life is so unfair.
Although I've accepted she is gone and move on, I still feel sad, happy, proud, loved and blessed all at the same time whenever I think of our baby. Yes, there are always mixed feelings when you think about your loss child.
8 months down the road, does the pain gets lesser? The answer is 'Yes' and 'No'. For most days I can breeze through without feeling sad when I think of Cassandra. But there are moments once in a while where the pain is so overwhelming that I find myself choking for air when I cry.
Missing you, Cassandra.
