Time To Say Goodbye....

We all know that the year of 2014 has not been a good year for many. To my fellow mankind around the world, there were many natural disasters and man made tragedies took place everywhere. To my fellow Malaysians, it has been a really sad year for us as many tragedies and natural disasters took place even right up to the very end of 2014 things are not looking any better. To my friends and acquaintances, many have loss their loved ones unexpectedly. And finally to myself, Keith and my family members who have loss our beloved daughter, granddaughter, niece and cousin sister, Cassandra Long Sze Yi.

As much as I tried my best to live happily for myself, for Keith, for my loved ones and for angel baby Cassandra, I couldn't help feeling sad and down after hearing bad news one after another. Since last Sunday I've been in this constant verge of tears because there are really a lot of sadness to take in.

As much as I Hate the year of 2014, I also Love it. Yes, it's a Love-Hate thing. I hate it because so many sad incidents took place not only to ourselves but to people who are close to us. I Love it because it is the year where Cassandra came in to our lives. We wished for our daughter to be with us still but we all know it wouldn't happen. Nonetheless, we are thankful that year 2014 has brought our daughter to us.

As we are saying goodbye to 2014, we pray and hope that 2015 will be a better year for everyone especially all the kind people who have gone through so much heartache this year and very much deserve to have more blessings and happiness in their lives. Being Happy is a choice we can choose at time of distress;It is not an easy journey but it is doable. But it will be good not having to make a conscious effort to be happy.

I don't have much to say as I try not to think too much about everything that took place this year but at least we have something to be happy about, that is at least we had the chance to meet our lovely Cassandra. Although she only lived for 10 days in this world but she has achieved so much more than many people who have lived and passed on at old age. Our Cassandra managed to reached out, touched and healed so many people out there who have came to know her and our story. Keith and I are very proud and honored to be chosen to be her parents. Cassandra will be forever loved and forever missed.

Lat but not least, we sincerely thank you, family, friends and acquaintances near and far, we thank you for being with us through all the ups and downs and we are glad to have you guys in our lives. As I always believe that no matter how bad a situation is there's always something good coming out of it,. Indeed, in the midst of sorrows, we have gained so much more than we could ask for; for that we are grateful and will forever treasure it for the rest of our lives.

So Goodbye 2014!

From: Angel Cassandra

Today we finally have all the gifts bought for the orphans in Rumah Anak Gembira in Klang.

Me and my 2 sisters in law started wrapping the gifts after dinner and it was so fun and fulfilling to do that knowing we will make 10 kids happy and feel loved.

While me and eldest sis in law were wrapping the gifts, my 2nd sis in law was writing the labels for each gift and she asked, "what should we write for the 'From, ??'. Think of a nickname or something". Then, my eldest sis in law replied, "Cassandra". 2nd sis in law looked at me and asked,"Sure? Write Cassandra?". As soon as I recovered from the unexpected answer, I quickly said, "Yes! Write Angel Cassandra. Thank you!" (as I bowed slightly). And eldest sis in law continued, "This is for her". Needless to say, eldest sis in law and myself (the emotional ones) cried a little after that short exchange.

Honestly, I didn't expect anyone would suggest to put Cassandra name with the exception of me and Keith but of course I wouldn't dare to suggest it. This really mean so so much to me and Keith and we feel so blessed and loved that our family members and close circle of friends are always being so supportive. Although we don't really talk about Cassandra much to other family members but on the occasions that we do, the response we get is always very warmth and positive.

We started this charity drive since year 2010 and so far we have the best response this year. We don't know what change but we believe Cassandra has touched many people's hearts and she has planted the desire in their hearts to help the needy.

Thank you everyone for joining us to honor our little girl. :)

All the Love and Prayers to you.

From, 
Angel Cassandra

She is Loved

Took my mom out today to this Mari Market @ APW Bangsar and had our light lunch. We only spent a short 30 minutes there as nothing interest us. We then headed over to BSC to walk around a bit before settled down at a restaurant for tea.

I know the only time my mom saw angel baby Cassandra was on her funeral and I also know both my sisters did not show my mom the artworks of Cassandra done by kind people from all around the world. I wasn't sure if I should bring up Cassandra but I want my mom to look at our precious little girl again and see the beautiful artworks we have received, so I decided to take out my phone and start telling her about the artworks.

At first my mom just casually asked me if we have to pay for all the artworks when I was sliding my phone to show her the photos. Then I noticed a silence after a while so I looked up, and there was the tears on my mom's face flowing uncontrollably.

I immediately keep my phone away and I too was choked and tried to hold back my tears. :(

Although Cassandra was only with us for 10 days and her grandparents,uncles and aunties only saw her once to send her off, but we know that Cassandra is loved by many. She is loved from the moment I had her in me.

We just miss her so much. 

Frozen In Time

4th December - Our lovely baby Cassandra turned 5 months old in heaven today.

'Frozen in time'. That's what came to my mind when I think about angel baby Cassandra because she would forever remained as 32 weeks 3 days old on earth.

The other day Keith was telling me he was also thinking about Cassandra and wonder how she would look like now if she is still with us. The closest image we could imagine is based on baby girls who are about the same age.

I had a dream couple of weeks back and in my dream Cassandra was a 1 year old toddler. I have dreamed of her 4 times since she earned her wings. I like to think that it is the way Cassandra try to stay connect with me by visiting me in my dreams.

Just miss her so very much. 

If you have not seen it, here is the the link to the album dedicated to our angel baby Cassandra which made from the artworks we have compiled to date from many other kind souls.

https://www.facebook.com/liztsc/media_set?set=a.10152734563686768.580216767&type=3&uploaded=1

Have I Failed Them?!

Ever since Cassandra left us, not a day we don't think of her or not miss her. No matter how many days have passed my love for her only continue to grow with time and I miss her even more than before. :(

As fast as I tried to move on and as much as I tried to be happy again, I just can't help thinking, 'Have I failed them?!', Today not sure why suddenly I feel that perhaps I have failed baby Cassandra and Keith. I know people who had premies born around the same gestation or earlier than Cassandra and yet they made it. And one of the factor because their babies were not underweight when they were born and they didn't really have any other complication. For Cassandra, overall her vital signs were good but she was slightly underweight. And perhaps because of that she was subjected to more invasive procedures which led to underlying infections that no one detected.

Perhaps I shouldn't have listened to the lady. Perhaps I should have continue to take maternal milk during my whole pregnancy. Then maybe she wouldn't be underweight and things would be different.

Maybe.

I know it's pointless to think about all these because I can never rewind and redo anything.

Sigh....

Emotional Trip

Due to my previous pregnancy complication, I was transferred from a private hospital to a government hospital. Hence, my normal gynae that I was seeing didn't know about Cassandra passing. I decided to make a trip to see my gynae as to update him about Cassandra and to check how my internal wound is healing.

So Keith and I went to the hospital yesterday and as usual the nurse would take my weight and blood pressure. Right after the nurse strapped on the blood pressure monitor on me, she asked where was my baby as she saw on the record my EDD was on 29th Aug 2014. I simply replied:"My baby is with God". She was shock and silent for a few seconds then she offered her sympathy and continued to ask me more questions as she needs to record it in my file. Needless to say, I got emotional and my eyes got teary while answering a few direct and straight forward questions about Cassandra. And then the blood pressure reading came out, my blood pressure was elevated and that was the first time I witnessed how our emotional condition could affect our BP. And I had an acid re-flux too due to the distress.

Saw my gynae and Keith did most of the talking as I was rather emotional after talking to the nurse. My internal wound was checked and it has healed well according to my doctor. We also checked with him when is it safe for us to try conceiving again and what are the preventive measures needed for the next pregnancy.

Honestly, I have been braving myself to talk about Cassandra when people ask about her 'death' and I must say no matter how many times I talk about it, I still feel sad and the pain has not gotten any lesser. But then again, I like to have someone ask and talk about our little angel coz I feel happy and proud whenever I talk about her. :)

Celebrating the Love of My Life

4th Nov - Today, is the 39th birthday of my beloved hubby, Keith. I am so happy and looking forward to celebrate many more birthdays with him. :) We had a very nice dinner at Vin's Restaurant & Bar in TTDI. At the end of our dinner, they actually sent us a surprise birthday cake (Chocolate truffle with ice cream). The cake was good and the beef ribs and steak we had were superb too. Glad to see my darling enjoyed his day. :)


4th Nov - Today, Cassandra turns 4 months old in heaven. I just miss her so much every minute of every day. Can't shake off the sad feeling especially when I'm on my way home after work every time. How I wish we have our lovely girl to come home to everyday. :(

Life is so unpredictable hence we must always appreciate every moment of our lives.

Donations

Sometimes really don't know to laugh or cry when there are random people come up to you and ask for donation and if you refuse them they kind of give you the look as if you have no heart nor empathy.

Today I was having tea with Keith and his sis. Someone came up and ask for donation so Keith signed the paper to donate but he had no small change so he asked his sis for the money first. I think that guy mistaken Keith and his sis were husband and wife and I was their friend or something. So he asked me to donate too and I shook my head. The guy tried to pestered me and then Keith said "it's ok, we donate together' to the guy. Then the guy gave me the 'stare' while thanking Keith and his sis very fervently.

The truth is me and Keith always make donations randomly every now and then. So when those people give me weird stare sometimes I really feel like telling them how much or where I have donated so please don't think ill of me. But then again, why does it matter, right? We don't have to make announcement and tell the whole world each time we make a donation coz no one really cares.

As long we have a clear conscience and we know we have do our part giving back to the society then it is good enough. If we have to donate to every home we will not have money left for ourselves. :/

Are You OK?

We know many relatives and friends do feel a little awkward when they bump into us. Not because we have done something bad to each other nor we have something against each other, but simply because after what Keith & I have been through you sort of caught in a dilemma on what to say to us.

You see if you go on talking to us about anything else and purposely avoid talking about Cassandra, some of you may feel that you are being uncaring for not bother to ask how are we. But then for those of you who do ask, 'How are you?' or 'Are you OK?', I can tell you none of you are prepared for the truth. If we do reply, 'No, we are not OK.', it will put you in a painfully awkward position as you will be loss on how to response or react to us. So far most relatives and friends chose not to bring up the topic.

To make it easy for everyone please allow me to tell you this, we are Not OK. The fact is, we will Never be OK. But Life Must Go On and we know that, so we've accepted the fact and doing our very best to live our lives as normal. We were prepared to be parents and to nurse our child but now we are just back to being a couple (but we are still a dad and a mom even though we don't have a living child to care for).

Hence, a simple question like 'Are you OK?' has become a difficult one for us to answer because if we tell you we are OK, that is not really the truth, but then we can't really say we are not OK either as we are moving on with lives. We are still the same but many things changed in us. It's really complicated.

Celebrating 3 months old in Heaven

4th of Sep, today should be your 3 months old with us but instead you are in Heaven with God and all other angels.

Daddy and mommy miss you so much! And we know that no matter how long time has passed, we will always miss you.

Daddy and mommy agreed to remember you on your birthday instead of the day you have passed but then they have a very nice term for it, it's called 'Angelversarry' so we think it doesn't sound so bad. :)

You must know that even though we are sad that you are no longer with us but daddy and mommy will live our lives well because we know you would want to see us happy. And hopefully God will bless us again with child so you will have younger brother or sister and we can tell him or her all about you next time.

You will always be the most special one in daddy and mommy's hearts. Love you forever, our Angel Baby Cassandra. :)

Be Prepared..... Emotional

Going back to work tomorrow....

There's a mix feeling about going back. On one hand I'm happy to get back to work and meet my colleagues but on the other hand I'm also dreading it.

I believe by now most people in my company would have find out about angel baby Cassandra. If they didn't get the news from my close colleagues, they would have found out via my FB video posted.

But just in case some people may not know about it, I have to be prepared that someone may just come to me and ask how is my baby.

At first I was contemplating whether to asked my close colleagues to just inform whoever they meet in other departments about what happened so it will save me the heartache having to talk about it. But then I know I must face it. Like what Keith said, the sooner we face it and confront the fear to talk (verbally) about it the easier it will get. That's what he did.

So, here I am, preparing myself emotionally. But even so, for those who know and when they come to me and offer their condolence and sympathy, I do not know if I will get emotional or I will be OK.

Either way, I will find out tomorrow.

It Is OK to Grief..... Positively

It is OK to grief. Really.... there is nothing to be ashamed of and it is certainly not a taboo where people should avoid talking about. And if you are a grieving parents, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise, for they do not know what they are talking about. 

Only people who have gone through the same as us would know how it feels to lose our own child. Even people who are parents themselves would not understand even though some may claimed that they know/understand how we feel simply because they are parents. The actual fact is, they don't. Period. And I wish they would never have to find out. It is something I wouldn't even wish on my enemy (not that I have any).

I am not alone. We are not alone. All of us would go through all kinds of losses in our lives. Personally, I have experience the loss of grandparents, father, relatives and friends but none of it come close to the pain of losing Cassandra, our child. :(

You know there are many grieving parents blogged about the Dos and Don't, the 'What and What Not to Say to Grieving Parents' which I believe it was all 'inspired' or 'sparked' by all the people who think they know better and offer bunch of sincere and good intended but Crappy advises. I won't go there in details so if you are interested you may google it and have a good read, it will save yourself from being secretly curse and swear at by those grieving parents. I'm not joking.

Some people think that there is an expiration date when comes to grief. 2 months after you lose your kid, someone come and tell you "I know it's not easy but you must learn to let go and move on.". Seriously when I hear that I get really upset... but... I can't blame any of them because they really don't know what they are saying. Everyone griefs differently. Some may take longer time than the others. Some may draw strength from their grief and empowered to help others. And of course there are some may head to destruction and ended up losing their job, health, relationships, marriage, etc.

For many who are close to me and know my true nature, I believe many have thought that I must be very fragile and wouldn't be able to take this sad and tragic incident well. Well, neither did I. 

But if you know any of my family members, ask them, and they will tell you how amazingly strong and calm I was and still am since the day Cassandra passed on. I am not boasting. I have really surprise myself by the strength I have since day one. I was heartbroken, I was torn, I felt so helpless and hopeless for not being able to do anything to bring our baby back to life. 

I cried my eyes out when I hold our angel baby Cassandra in my arms for the first and last time... but I was composed. I did not go hysterical. I could even tell funny stories and jokes about my experience in the hospital to my family members while waiting for the NICU team to prepare Cassandra to be sent to the morgue.

And of course for the subsequent days after that I would cry whenever I think of her but I make sure I eat well and rest well for I know while grieving the loss of my precious daughter, I must also take care of myself because I still have so many loved ones around me. I wasn't the only one who are grieving (of course my pain would surpass everyone in the family), I know everyone in the family are heartbroken as well. The grandparents who loss their granddaughter, the aunts who loss their niece and of course Keith who has also loss his precious daughter.

At first I tried to bottled everything inside (what I do best in normal circumstances) and not sharing or telling anyone how I feel because I know what some people would say to me but then I realize such grief (the loss of a child) is not something I can handle alone. It is very different from everything I have ever felt before and if I am not careful, I know I will slip into depression, obsession and perhaps self destruction. And then I slowly open up a little. I start to message a few friends whom I know although they have never experience what I have gone through, they would not be judgy but just listen (or read) whatever I need to vent just to release my frustrations.

What I am trying to say here is.. please don't and never deny anyone to grief. It's our rights and it's a process that we need to go through. While saying that, of course if you see anyone you know (if you are very close to that person) grieving in a way that brought negativity and destruction to any aspect of his/her life, then by all means try to intervene and help them. But if they are doing their best to live well, if they are able to function like everyone else, they can still joke, laugh, smile and not doing anything that will harm their life in any way, then please... respect them and let them be. 

If they want to talk about the child they have loss, let them. If they want to post anything In FB or their blog) in regards to their angels, let them. Don't straight away jump off your chair and tell them things like "I know it is sad but you need to move on" or "you must learn to let it go" (unless it is excessive then something is not right). Sometimes, talking about their angels and mentioned their name could bring comforts to the grieving parents. And I'm one of them. :)

People who can't let go and can't move on would not be able to function well in their daily lives and I do no such thing. :)

In regards to the video I posted asking help to photoshop angel baby Cassandra photos and to draw our family portraits, I know some people have mistakenly think and see me as just a grieving mother who's trying hard to hold on to what I have loss and can't move on, but that's so not true.

I did what I did because I know it helps me to heal. 

I hope from what I did it would also send a positive message out there to tell people that it is really OK to grief and not let others to tell you otherwise. I think the most important thing here is to 'Grief Positively' and do something that would help in our healing in the process.

Just be supportive and be there. Sometimes by not saying anything is the best comfort you could offer.

I do not seek sympathy from anyone. I am not a tough person by nature but I am stronger than I look (emotionally). So please do not for one second think that I am not willing to move on and start giving me all kind of crappy advise coz I really don't want to curse you in my heart. :P

Love and Peace to All. :)

Happy 38th Birthday To Me

Today is my 38th Birthday. It should be one of my Happiest birthday as we supposed to have our lovely daughter, Cassandra celebrating my birthday with us. But we all know that she is no longer with us on this earth. I have made a wish in my heart, a most wanted wish that no one could ever granted me with, not even God, which is to have our baby Cassandra back with us healthy and very much alive.

I was feeling pretty down the past few days as my birthday is drawing near and I was thinking what other wishes I can make and most likely to be granted. And then came the idea. I've made a video telling a little story about Cassandra and what my wishes are and posted it in my FB page.

To be honest, such move is totally out of character and it took me much contemplation whether it is a good idea to do so. I was afraid I will be judged, ridiculed and criticized for attention seeking as I am not the only one in this world who has loss her child. But I guess the Love of a grieving mother conquers all. And I thank God and our angel baby Cassandra for giving me the courage to take the leap of faith and made it happen. As it turns out, it was a great move. :)

I've posted the video past midnight today and said a prayer hoping that there will be positive feedback before I went to bed. When I woke up this morning, my video has been shared by many and I've received many responses, both local and abroad to help me with my 2 birthday wishes. I am beyond thrill. 

Today prove to be a bitter sweet day. I feel so sad and yet so happy and bless with so many angels (yes, I mean you all kind souls out there) to help shared my video and also those who could offer your talents to help me make the 2 wishes come true. Thanks to the power of the social media and all netizens. 

I know some of you may think that I am still unable to accept the fact or can't let my baby girl go when you see my random posts in FB about me missing my daughter. It will be a total lie if I tell you that I am ok. Only those parents especially mothers who have loss their child would truly know how it feels. The truth is you will never stop missing your child and the pain of losing them will not go away totally. It just get easier to deal with every day.

And I want you all to know that both me and Keith are fine and moving on with our lives but this is just something we want to have as a memory of our baby girl. When we have so little memories, we tend to have lots of imaginations, And with everyone helps, we could at least transform some imaginations into pictures which we can see and share with our loved ones. Hope you guys understand.

To sum it all, I am sad but I am also extremely happy today for the following reasons:

1) I am happy because many kind souls have responded to grant my wishes, 

2) I am happy because I still have all my loved ones around me who are so caring, loving, patience and most importantly not being judgemental and totally supportive. And I want to do the same for them.

And for that I am very grateful.

God bless you and Thank you! :)

2 Months in Heaven

4th Sep 2014 - Our angel Cassandra, you have turned two months old today in Heaven.

Never did we know it is possible to have our hearts so broken and yet so full of love. For you are our first born, our precious lil girl and you are forever Special to us. :)

Forever Love,
Daddy and Mommy

Just A Dream :(

I felt so much love, joy and peace this morning when I held you in my arms with you staring and smiling back at me....you looked so perfect and beautiful my baby Cassandra. But sadly...it was just a dream. :`(

I have so much love to give but you are not here to receive. I can only talk to thin air every day and wish that you can hear and see me from above.

Why? Just Why?

I don't understand........ Why must our baby be taken away from us?

Does God really has better plan for us? If yes, why couldn't the plan not involve snatching away our precious daughter? :(

Was there really something wrong with her? There was no indication of any health problem with her. She looked so perfect. She was Perfect.

Was it infection? Was it heart failure? Was she being discovered a little too late? She was progressing so well until that dreadful day. :( What really went wrong?!?

I know I can never stop thinking and asking WHY? WHY? WHY? A question that we will never get the answer. :'(

Due Date

Today is actually the original EDD (estimated due date). I know it is not really significant as it is just an estimation and often inaccurate.

Just wish that Cassandra is still in my womb and all of that happened is not real. Wish it was just a horrible nightmare and when I wake up, she is right in my arms.

But she is forever gone and that is the reality. We will never get to hold her in our arms, never get to hold her hands, never get to teach her all the good values we have in us, never get to sing with her,  never get to see her attend school, never get to see her grow up, get married and have a family of her own. :(

The Life We Will Never Have

I've been thinking and imagining a lot about how our lives would be now and in the coming future if Cassandra is still with us, alive. :(

Hubby & I was watching a show 'School of Rocks' on TV this evening seeing a bunch of kids performing in the show. My hubby suddenly tearing a little (real man is not afraid to show his true feeling) and instantly I know what was in his mind and I started tearing too. He too was thinking about the same thing as I am, the Life we will never have with her. :(

Men do grief differently from women but nonetheless the father who loss his child is in pain and heartbroken as well. I know how my hubby really feels although he hardly show much emotion when he meets other people even with our immediate family members. Same goes to me. No matter how heartbroken we are and how much we morn and cry when no one sees us, we would put up a smile in front of others. Only those who are in our shoes would truly understand how we feel and to those who are not, though they truly sympathise with what we are going through but crying and grieving in front of them would only make them uncomfortable. The truth is there is no way to comfort such pain. Period. People always say things like 'God has better plan for you' or 'she is in a better place now', on one hand it sort of comforting (but it's short live) but on the other hand it does not ease the sorrow sowed deep in our heart and mind.

Many years ago when a close friend asked why wouldn't we want kid as she feels that a marriage without children is incomplete. I still remember my reply to her, 'No, we don't feel any incompleteness as we are extremely happy with what we have between us so we do not need a child. We are Complete'. It was true then, right up to the day I found out I was pregnant, or to be more precise, the day Cassandra was born. She has open a 'door' in our hearts and we are forever changed. And yes, with her gone now, there in a 'void' in both our hearts. I'm not sure if we will be bless with another child and even if we do, the 'void' will still be there as she is irreplaceable.

I know she is forever gone and nothing can bring her back, and yes I have accepted the cruel fact the day she received her wings. And yet I find myself asking sillily everyday 'Can I have my baby back?'. There will always be good and rough times and I know it will stay this way as long as we live. 

Love You.... Always Will Be

Found out I was pregnant few days before Christmas last year. Keith and I were really happy and excited about it as we finally decided to start a family after 11 years of marriage and couple-hood. I have never written down any thoughts during the entire pregnancy as I thought to just keep all the thoughts and memories in my heart and mind. Following is the summary of my pregnancy.

21 June 2014 :
- My amnio sac torn. Diagnosed with PPROM at week 29. On bed rest since.

04 July 2014 :
- Increased reading of CRP and WBC. An emergency C-sect was ordered by MFM.
- Delivered our little angel, Cassandra Long Sze Yi at week 31 at 2:35 p.m.
- Cassandra was found anaemic at point of delivery. 2 blood transfusion were done. Other vital signs were good.
- Cassandra was doing well progressively as days go by.

14 July 2014 :
- Cassandra condition suddenly took a down hill turn and she received her wings at 4:20 p.m.

15 July 2014 :
- Had a memorial service for Cassandra. Her body was cremated at Nirvana Memorial Park. Family and friends attended to see Cassandra for the first and last time.

16 July 2014 :
- First time dreamed of my angel daughter, Cassandra since she has gone to heaven.
- Collected and scattered her remains in the sea at Port Klang.

It has been more than a month since Cassandra has passed. As everyone else said, it does get easier as days go by. But... the pain and sorrow of loss would always be there. It is imprinted in my heart and forever it shall remained.

"We never get over the loss of someone we love; we just learnt to live with it.". Live with it I must. It is the only choice I have. No matter how heartbroken I am, life must go on. I mustn't neglect my love ones who are still around. I must be strong and live well for myself, my hubby, my angel daughter and those who love me.

I am okay most of the time but then I am only human. I have my moments of weakness. Sometimes the pain and the sorrow is so suffocating and my heart bleeds.... but I must stay strong.

Cassandra, mommy and daddy would always love you and miss you. We will never ever forget you (how can we????). Please watch over all of us and we shall see you again one day when daddy and mommy return to God's kingdom.

Love You Always, our angel Cassandra. :*

Hello Cassandra

Our lil angel Cassandra, you would have been one month old today. Though you are no longer with us physically but you are and will always live in our hearts and memories. 

Daddy & I miss you and love you so so much. May you be our little guardian angel and watch over us until the day we see you again in God's kingdom. 

Forever Love. 

Going Strong....

10th Jan 2014. Today is one of the many special day in my life because today marks my 11th ROM Anniversary with my beloved soul-mate, best friend, lover and husband, Keith. :)

Looking back at these past years, there were many ups and downs and challenges in this marriage. We tripped and fell along the way and we are always there to comfort, to encourage, to love, to care, to be the pillar of strength and punching bag for each other. :)

Remembering the time when we decided to tie the knot, we have only met and dated for 6 months. It was indeed a big gamble for us both if you ask me, given that neither of us 100% know for sure that if the other party is really as good and real as who we appeared to be. Well, to-date I can say it was a great risk well taken. It was a great leap of Faith.

After being together for so many years, I must say that many things have changed but yet its still the same. We love and are in love with each other still after 11 years and yet the love we share today is no longer the same as when we first met. It got even better and we know that it will continue to grow even stronger. It is something beyond words.

We are a team. We are not halves that come together that became one. We are 2 own individuals that coming together, joining forces and together we build and share greater things in life. Together, we nurture all the blessings that God has given us. We want to be better person as an individual and for each other.

Happy 11th Anniversary, my dear! Looking forward for many more years to come.... :)

I Love You Always....my one and only, Keith Long. Muaks!!