Sentiments of Life and the eventuality...: December 2008

Warning: This is a very long post

Having worked for 11 years myself, I noticed that many people these days seriously lack the right attitude at work.

Most employees like to complain about their managers a lot. They often think they are being mistreated when they find out that some of their company benefits are not as good as others but forget about those better benefits they do have.

I am not at manager level. I’m just a normal senior executive like many out there. I always like to observe and analyze people and things that happen around me. I also like to put myself in other people’s shoes and try to see things from different perspectives. Thus, it allows me to have a better understanding and open mind compare to many people towards many things in life.

I was twice a supervisor where I had admin assistants reporting under me in the past so more or less I have the taste as how it is like to manage people. Frankly speaking, I’m a lousy manager because I do not have the right skills for a managerial role. I am way too soft hearted and that is not a good thing. However, I am a very good soldier as I take orders & execute tasks well. :)

It is never easy to be a manager and not everyone can be a good manager. Employees always have the wrong perception that their bosses (as in manager and above) do not face the same pressure as they do. I have to tell you that you are just so very wrong for thinking that way.

Unless you are working for the owner of the company, who has no one to report to and no one to answer to but himself regardless the company does well or not. Believe me, whether he or she is the HoD/manager, the country manager, the regional manager and so forth, he/she is as nervous and pressured as you & me when they meet their bosses.

Your managers are answerable to their immediate boss just like everyone else simply because they are merely the ‘employees’ of the company. The higher the position, the bigger the responsibility. Managers are just as vulnerable as the normal level staff as they too need to deliver result. If they do not perform, they will get scolding from their bosses or even get fired.

I have a friend who used to complained about his ex-boss last time and even called his ex-boss a ‘Bitch’. And then one fine day, he himself was promoted in his then new job and became a manager himself. During one of the casual conversation, he told me then only he realized it is not easy to be a manager as he used to think. As a manager you have to be the medium between the staff and the higher management. On one hand, you need to try to fight for your subordinates for better pay, benefits, working environment and etc. but on the other hand; you have to think for the management to make sure your subordinates do not abuse what the company has to offer. It is what I called a ‘Sandwich’ situation. You just can’t please your subordinates and the higher management at the same time. There is no WIN-WIN situation. We just have to compromise.

The relation between the manager & subordinates are interdependent. The managers need their staff to help execute and materialize their plans just as much as the staffs need their managers to lead them and nurture them so that they too can grow in both professionally and their personal development. The manager can’t function without his staffs and vice versa. Why do I say so? That’s because no matter how good a manager is if he has inefficient staffs to help him to execute the tasks, he/she won’t be able to achieve the goals, likewise a vey good & hard working staff, if without a good leader, he/she might just doing the work blindly without knowing the right direction and may end up not doing the right thing to achieve the goals.

All of us want to be appreciated by our bosses when we’ve done a good job and how does one boss show the appreciation varies. Some just give verbal appreciation, some give treats or both and even promotion. Usually when we have done a good job and we get praise by our bosses, we feel good and confident and appreciated. And we would automatically think that we have a very good boss.

A bad boss is someone who takes all your credits when you are the biggest contributor behind the success and push all the blame on you when things don’t turn out as expected. But, does it mean only those who praise you and give you a pet on your back are the only good boss? To me apart from showing his/her appreciation when the staffs do well, a good boss would also tell you off behind close door when you have done something wrong.

For the majority, when their boss sounded them they always take it negatively, all of a sudden, the boss is being insensitive, bully, belittlement and non appreciative. I must tell you that only those bosses who scold and shout at their staff in public are as above. If your boss tells you off in private, you would be a fool not to appreciate it.

A good boss would tell you off in private because they respect you as a person. The reason they even bother to spend their time to talk to you one to one is because they do care about you and your future in the company. We cannot expect to get praises all the time when seriously we have either done something wrong or simply not doing enough to achieve what the company is expecting of us.

No one likes to hear about any criticisms, especially sometimes you think you have given & done your best. With that mindset, we often shut our mind and react negatively and do something hasty based on emotion. The matter of fact is, no one is perfect, we all make mistake. If your boss is willing to take some time to talk to you and point out what he finds the problem is and what is his expectation on your and tell you how he thinks you could improve, I think everyone should really appreciate that. Criticisms never sound good to our ears and sometimes you feel like you are being belittled by your boss but a good boss would never try to belittle you.

People often see criticisms as a bad thing. For me, I would take the criticisms positively and really ask myself if I have really given my best to do the job. A good boss would never want to see their staffs failed and do you know why? Like I said earlier, it is an interdependent relation, coz if you fail, your boss fail too simply because he has evaluated you and made a judgment that you are capable of doing the job (that’s the reason he hired you in the first place), so if you fail, it also means that he has made a wrong judgment and if you don’t do well, your boss can’t perform either. A good commander can’t win the battle without his efficient soldiers and vice versa.

We must learn not to take criticism too personally especially at work place. Unless your boss shouts at you in front of everyone then I would suggest you not to work under this kind of superior. Human being are always being very judgmental towards other as they can easily spot other people’s fault, however, we often can’t see our own shortfalls and don’t realize we too have weaknesses like others around us.

I’ve been working for 11 years and I often tell people that I’ve been very ‘lucky’ because through out my working life, all my ex-bosses and current boss really ‘sayang’ (like) me very much. Now the thing is, am I really that lucky or simply because I’ve the right attitude at work and that make my superiors like me a lot?

I’ve certainly made some mistakes here and there at work, some of my ex/bosses did talk to me and tell me off what they like or do not like about me and etc. I have never once thought that my bosses were not appreciative coz I know and I understand they meant good. Even though sometimes the words they used are not that nice to hear, I could see through their good intention behind all the sharp words. We are not little children so don’t expect your boss would talk to you like pacifying a kid all the time because when the boss tried the soft approach but failed, they would have no choice but to use reverse psychology to force you to THINK. But the sad fact is, most people are so disinclined to criticisms, they take every single word plainly and think their boss is trying to belittle them and made them feel like a loser.

If you have change a few jobs and you tell yourself and others that the bosses are the reason, there are only 2 possibilities, one is you are just so damn unlucky coz no matter how good you try, somehow all your stupid bosses just don’t appreciate you at all, then I guess you should just accept your sad fate and live the rest of your life believing that you are just unlucky to always get bad bosses. Or, you should WAKE UP and do a REALITY CHECK.

I suggest doing some soul searching and also try to analyse yourself from a 3rd party viewpoint and list down all your strengths and weaknesses and try to rethink all the criticisms you used to get from your ex/bosses and turn those words into driving force and see how you can improve yourself from there.

Or else, trust me, if you are the one who is having the attitude problem and you are not willing to accept the fact and make changes, instead you keep thinking that other people are just simply finding fault and do not appreciate you, you will face the same problem again & again no matter where you work.

I know there are really some terrible bosses out there but you'll have to use your better judgement to differentia whether your boss's criticisms mean good or purely for the sake of finding fault.

Ultimately, it boils down to our attitude and how we react towards things that happen in our daily lives.

Quotes to share:

· He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help
· Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing
· We need very strong ears to hear ourselves judged frankly, and because there are few who can endure frank criticism without being stung by it, those who venture to criticize us perform a remarkable act of friendship, for to undertake to wound or offer
· If you have no critics you'll likely have no success.
· I criticize by creation, not by finding fault

I've just set up my Christmas tree today, which is consider very late as I used to do the setup early Dec every year.

I am a bit lazy this year round and was contemplating whether to put up the tree or not. Then I told myself since I'm going to Singapore mid Dec for training, I would see if I could get any nice ornaments for my tree. Seriously, all the ornaments sold in Malaysia are rather disappointing, hence if I can get a few nice pieces in SG, I'll put up the tree when I'm back.

Due to time constraint I didn't have much time to shop so I ended up with only 3 ornaments and a small reindeer made from brown straws. Though I didn't bought much, it is motivated enough for me to lift up my lazy butt and get the tree done. :)
I do feel extra charitable this year and really in the mood to love & share. :) Speaking of which, this weekend I must go and buy some groceries and give away to an orphanage in PJ before Christmas.

There are still many more Christmas gifts not bought yet and I'm a real sucker in buying gifts. LOLs.... I've always prefer to give cash so that that person can buy what he/she really wants instead of sometimes stuck with something that they do not need or like. But then, it will totally defeat the purpose coz even for myself I don't think I'll take the money to buy myself a gift if some one would have given me RM50/-. I probably spend it on a Steak or Lamp Chop instead. Yummmmm... talking about food, now I'm thinking of turkey & roast lamb. Hahahahahaha...

Some friends have asked if I'm gonna have open house this year, oh well, I still can't decide yet. Like I said earlier, I am feeling kind of lazy this year. :D