Due to my previous pregnancy complication, I was transferred from a private hospital to a government hospital. Hence, my normal gynae that I was seeing didn't know about Cassandra passing. I decided to make a trip to see my gynae as to update him about Cassandra and to check how my internal wound is healing.
So Keith and I went to the hospital yesterday and as usual the nurse would take my weight and blood pressure. Right after the nurse strapped on the blood pressure monitor on me, she asked where was my baby as she saw on the record my EDD was on 29th Aug 2014. I simply replied:"My baby is with God". She was shock and silent for a few seconds then she offered her sympathy and continued to ask me more questions as she needs to record it in my file. Needless to say, I got emotional and my eyes got teary while answering a few direct and straight forward questions about Cassandra. And then the blood pressure reading came out, my blood pressure was elevated and that was the first time I witnessed how our emotional condition could affect our BP. And I had an acid re-flux too due to the distress.
Saw my gynae and Keith did most of the talking as I was rather emotional after talking to the nurse. My internal wound was checked and it has healed well according to my doctor. We also checked with him when is it safe for us to try conceiving again and what are the preventive measures needed for the next pregnancy.
Honestly, I have been braving myself to talk about Cassandra when people ask about her 'death' and I must say no matter how many times I talk about it, I still feel sad and the pain has not gotten any lesser. But then again, I like to have someone ask and talk about our little angel coz I feel happy and proud whenever I talk about her. :)
So Keith and I went to the hospital yesterday and as usual the nurse would take my weight and blood pressure. Right after the nurse strapped on the blood pressure monitor on me, she asked where was my baby as she saw on the record my EDD was on 29th Aug 2014. I simply replied:"My baby is with God". She was shock and silent for a few seconds then she offered her sympathy and continued to ask me more questions as she needs to record it in my file. Needless to say, I got emotional and my eyes got teary while answering a few direct and straight forward questions about Cassandra. And then the blood pressure reading came out, my blood pressure was elevated and that was the first time I witnessed how our emotional condition could affect our BP. And I had an acid re-flux too due to the distress.
Saw my gynae and Keith did most of the talking as I was rather emotional after talking to the nurse. My internal wound was checked and it has healed well according to my doctor. We also checked with him when is it safe for us to try conceiving again and what are the preventive measures needed for the next pregnancy.
Honestly, I have been braving myself to talk about Cassandra when people ask about her 'death' and I must say no matter how many times I talk about it, I still feel sad and the pain has not gotten any lesser. But then again, I like to have someone ask and talk about our little angel coz I feel happy and proud whenever I talk about her. :)
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