Monday, March 10, 2008

"In love with" and "love" - What is the difference?


I was talking to someone, B, who is in a love triangle relationship the other day. He made a very interesting statement. He said: “She is in love with him and she loves me”.
So, does that mean the girl loves both guys at the same time? Well, at least that’s what I comprehended. No. Hmmm…I was utterly confused. Is there a difference? B was trying to explain to me but I couldn’t quite get it at that time. I was told to gnaw on the sentence to figure it out myself.

After some profound analysis about what B has told me, I finally figure out the difference between ‘in love with someone’ and ‘loving someone’.

To love someone or something is lucid, rational, sensible, realistic, judicious and always based on reason.

We love our parents, siblings, relatives, friends, pets, belongings, all because they are related to us or belong to us. We love them by default due to the relations we shared.

We love someone because we love the way he/she treats us, the sense of security & responsibility, sympathy, the basic provisions, familiarity, fear of not having another chance of love and et cetera.

I have a classic example of love out of sympathy. One of my uncles met his current wife many years ago at his work place. She was a single mother with 3 children. My uncle sympathised her and decided to marry her so that he could take care of her as well as her kids.

I have a friend confide to me that she chose to married her husband because she knows he loves her more than she loves him and he is willing to give in to her the way no other guys would. But I forgot to ask her whether she is in love with her husband in anyway.

So, what differ ‘in love with someone’ from ‘loving someone’?

When you are in love with someone or something, there is no reason and everything becomes irrational. You feel the excitement when that someone calls, the obsession of seeing or talking to that person, the desire to possess that person, the fascination, the passion, the longing, jealousy and the unexplainable happiness, where a mere thought of him/her would put a smile on you. It makes your eyes sparkles; your skin glow, you become gentler in speech and behaviour,

Why is it when you are in love with someone, everything will become irrational? That’s because even if you know that person can’t provide you much or don’t love you the same way, you go ahead and love him/her anyway, or you know that person is a criminal but you still love him.

So, are you in love with your other half or you loving your other half?

How about myself, you ask, well, I have to say that I am in love with my other half and I also love him. Like it or not, love is conditional and I’m a very practical and logical person. I told my hubby before, if he would have been a factory blue collar worker or some mechanic, I wouldn’t have chose to marry him.

I know I’m too straightforward and it might seems cruel for me to say that to my other half or this even makes me sound materialistic or whatsoever, but that is the fact and I’m just being true to myself and the one I chose to spend my life with.

So, are you loving someone and in love with someone else at the same time?

1 comment:

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