Awkward Self

I often feel very awkward about myself.

Contrary to what everyone may thinks, I never really feel good about myself. I don't really have much self confidence and I certainly don't feel attractive at all. Yup, I don't quite feel comfortable in my own skin. I believe I have mentioned this many times in my earlier posts. :D

In my own eyes, I always feel like I look like a Guy. Yes, I think I look like a Dude. But I have a solution. I just pretend that I'm a Transvestite. A dude that cross-dress as a girl and I also play the part.

Hence, I feel less awkward about myself now. Mmmmm.... it might sounds a bit weird but this is what it is. Some must be wondering why do I share something so personal with everyone. Well, I just want to tell all the ladies out there, you are Not alone.

Almost all female have this same issue no matter how they look. For example, I saw a programme on E! 2 days ago and they were talking about Mary-Kate Olsen's (one of the famous Olsen Twins) eating disorder problem. In one of her interview, she said that:"Sometimes when I look at my sister (Ashley), I'm thinking why can't I be as beautiful as my sister?". You see what is the problem here? They are identical twins and surely Mary-Kate is as beautiful as Ashley. So, why Mary-Kate had such thought? That is because we don't see ourselves as how other people see us. We often see ourselves base on how we feel about ourselves which link to our self esteem level.

We can never be good enough for ourselves and there are a lot of chain reactions as it not only affect ourselves, it would affect the people who love us & care for us as well. Ask me, I have been there done that.

So the only way not to make matter worst is try to find a way to make yourself feel good, even if you have to fake it. Trust me, if you can convince yourself that, you'll feel good about yourself eventually.